Someone has vandalised the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, his name is Donald Trump. However, following the majority of U.S. media outlets, as well as U.S. government statements, you would be led to believe the vandal was some unknown person, and an active search is underway. The "vandalism" of the pool has turned into one of the clearest symbols of the fall of effective journalism under Donald Trump.

The vandalism, according to the U.S. ruling regime is the presence of green algae, following an attempt to drain the pool and turn in 'American Flag Blue', a paint job that likely led to the algae's presence.

The vandal in the White House, who has so far arrested six people and delivered seven citations, claims the culprits will spend up to ten years in prison once the matter reaches the courts. But he is the culprit, we have a record of the events that led to the pool turning green from algae, each one leads back to the U.S. President.

The bottom of the pool has been covered end to end in fresh coating, graffiti laid down in a colour the vandals insist is American flag blue, though to anyone leaning over the rail it now reads closer to swamp green. The coating is failing, peeling away in pale sheets that drift across the water for the tourists to photograph.

Chemicals were poured in to the pool, another move dictated by the authoritarian idiot in Washington DC. Ducks have died in the pool, with images of a dead duckling sparking mild backlash on social media websites. The U.S. President claims a blade opened a gash that has grown with each retelling, 200 feet, then 250, then 300, and by Tuesday a 350-foot series of slashes cut, he says, in the dark of night, purposefully and criminally done.